3D Cinema: The Good, the Bad and the should have been.

Ok, as a rule I loath making sweeping generalisations but in this case I have to make an exception. Generally speaking as a rule 3D cinema is freaking clown shoes. But as we all know with every rule there is an exception so I being with the good.

THE GOOD
The only example I can think of to exhibit the (What I think is the proper) use of 3D is in Tron: Legacy. To support my argument I direct your attention to the dinner scene involving Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), his son Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund) and Quorra (Olivia Wilde). The three character sit at a long white table. The male charaters at the head and foot of the table with Wilde in the centre facing the character harking towards a classic procenium arch. The composition  of the scene already well set, the use of 3D in this scene only enhances the possition of the actors an the props within the scene. Mostly the use of 3D seems to aim to punch out in agressive way towards to audience. This is the flip side. It give the scene a certain depth that draws you into the action and makes you feel like your steping into the grid. And say what you will about Tron, you may love or hate these films but I honestly believe this is the best use of the format.

THE BAD
Mostly I don't aprove of any film that uses 3D as a gimic. Example Resident Evil: Afterlife. OH MY GOODNESS LOOK THERE ARE THINGS FLYING OUT OF THE SCREEN AT US!!!! Thanks but not thanks. If I want to have stuff thrown at my head I'd go to the park on a saturday. I'm shure I'd eventually end up having a frizbi thrown at me.

THE SHOULD HAVE BEEN
I'd like to know what film you think would have looked great in. My thought The Big Lebowski. FB me.

Come on your just not trying anymore.

Religious people refer to it as a spiritual crisis and I know it can seem a little grandiose to compare losing your faith in what you love to losing your faith in a higher power. But that’s the only way I can think to say it. I’ve lost my love for the cinema. Every so often there’s a little glimmer of hope that reminds me why I catch my breath when I see an article or a promo for a film that seems to be something special. Recently though it seems to be that almost every big film coming out is either a re-make, re-boot, sequel adaptation of a book.

Prime example is the October issue of a rag I frequently purchase Total Film. The cover of this issue features six stories. Superman (Re-Boot), Spiderman (Re-Boot), Judge Dredd (Re-Boot), Men in Black 3 (Sequel), Ghost Rider 2 (Sequel) and of course The Dark Knight Rises (Another Sequel). Not a single Original story, and I know technically if you look at narrative structures as it goes there are finite number of different story’s in cinema, books and theatre.  But what I would like to see it old material with a new plot, something that at the very least makes the effort to be new and interesting.

Don’t get me wrong I will end up seeing all of these films but all I ask is for a little effort. Come on Hollywood earn it.

Why even bad films are good.

A notion that occured to me is this. Even bad films are good. If anything they are better than the good ones. Allow me to explain, it's eays and absolutly wonderful to chat with a friend about films that you both love and enjoy. You do stupid impresssions of the characters, you remember scene's that you thought where funny or moving. But if you spark a conversation about a film that one or both of you find terrible then it's just so much better. Look at failure helps us to recognise our mistakes and to not make them again. Take for example my dear friend Brendan Hill, he thinks the film Wanted is rubbish, I happen to love it. And because of that fact Brendan and I have had many passionate discussions about it. Being British I love to recognise flaws and mistakes and to show my distaste at something. It makes us see that we can be better than what we are and try to improve ourselves. And that is why bad films are good.

It's not just me it really is awful.

One Tree Hill. It's shit, it's just plain awful. It's poorly written self indulgent moralising crap that panders to tweens and people with low IQ's an no taste. Not only is said program poorly written but it is just as weak in it's execution. The direction is comprable to that of an 80's daytime soap. And the acting, oh good god the acting. 'Oh no, you hate me because I slept with you boyfriend. WAH WAH WAH!!' Hug and be friends because friendship is the best ever *Buckets of Sarcasm*. So put simply One Tree Hill, your shit please stop what you are doing. Thank you.

Hey Rocky, did you see that horror picture ? It was such a show! Part 2

Hey there peep's sorry I've not posted for a while. No excuses I am an idiot. Let us continue.

Dr Frankenfurter's creation should be played by a little known actor called Kevin Zegers.

Next on my list is the re-cast for the sexy/scarey Columbia. The only woman I could think of to play that iconic character would be the beautiful and talented Emma Stone.

The sassy alien mix Magenta would be played by Emily Browning.

He may be delicious as the tortured vampire Mitchel, but I think Aiden Turner would do a brilliant job as the reincarnation of Richard O'Brien.

Now we come to the iconic couple Brad Majors and Janet Weiss. No-one else could make this work other that Criminal Minds Matthew Gray Gubler and Supernatural's Alona Tal.

And last but certainly not least a man who has the charisma, voice and sex appeal to pull off this roll would be a man who we all know has fantastic legs from watching 300. And lets face it, the addition of fishnet tights can only make it better. Ladies and gentlpeeps I give you Mr Gerard Butler as Dr Frank-en-Furter.

Thank you and good night.

Hey Rocky, did you see that horror picture ? It was such a show!

In my intro blog I touched on the subject of who would be in my dream cast for a remake of the 1975 cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show. So people lets jump right in. First off the only person who could direct this would be the twisted genius that is Darren Lynn Bousman. The man who helped to gave us Repo the Genetic Opera, we started this opera shit Darren. You are the man. Ok so let’s start with;

The Criminologist, the only person with the authoritative personality who could pull this off would be  the gravelly god that is Laurence Fishburne.

Next comes Eddie, if you look at the not so successful comedy Balls of Fury a film about the noble art of ping pong  wich starts none other than the beautifully husky and under rated Dan Fogler.

Next of corse comes the eponymous Dr Scott wich will be taken on by the british legend that is Tim Spall.

Next time I'll give ya'll the wrest of my s'jestions...

Three isn’t always the magic number.

The Hollywood money maker that is the trilogy, we all know the obvious ones such as Indiana Jones (anyone mentions Crystal Skulls I will cry like a puppy punched in the face), Star Wars (The original trilogy) and Back to the Future. Mostly because they are the good ones, the ones that have a cohesive pattern and a story arc that runs through all of the films.
 

But let’s try and keep things somewhat positive and look at a trilogy that should have been good but fell just short of the mark. BLADE! That’s rite Blade one through three.
 

Blade 1998 a film that shook up the vampire genre and gave it (pardon the term) a new lease of life. A story about a man trying to be good but born out of an evil situation, his mother life taken by a vampire and due to this his biology is forever changed making half human half vampire. With Stephen Norrington’s dark and twisted brush strokes while in the director’s chair made this film not only frightening but exciting.
 

Blade 2 2002 the second is the saga and what a saga it was. This film was about Blade teaming up with the vampires he hates so much to prevent a more aggressive and entirely more dangerous breed of vampire from killing all the vampires and then turning on the humans Blade has spent his life trying to protect. With all the right ingredients it’s a sorry thing to say that the second Blade film was a disappointment. Guillermo Del Toro directing means broad fantasy brush strokes matched with such a strong grip of story that is unmatched many. And with a great supporting cast Ron Pearlman and Tony Curran to name a few it is a sorry thing to say that Blade 2 was a bit of a number 2.

Blade: Trinity the third time we go down the rabbit whole. What can I say, Ryan Reynolds is taken for granted again as being just a piece of eye candy that can crack a joke, when in fact he is much more than that (see Chaos theory, Smokin Ace’s or The Amityville Horror). Written and directed by David S. Goyer a man with a good track record as a writer but with Trinity seems to have fallen flat on his face as a director. This is an interesting story that has been poorly presented; it’s been wrapped up in attractive actors who have been under utilised and a visual ascetic that is weak and boring.

To sum up, when is doubt stop at one film. Let’s face it you’re not really going get better that Wesley Snipes going ape shit with a ruddy great sharp thing and Kris Kristofferson being drunk and shouting.

What's it all about 2.0

Prefix: I had a problem posting on another blog this is a second try. Thanks again.

 

Hello Nets, Karyss here. Like all of you I am being bent over a table by a financially retarded society. In V for Vendetta Evey tells V “My father told me that artists use lies to tell the truth and politicians use lies to cover the truth up” with that in mind the Tory motto should be “Money doesn’t make you happy”. Of course that would be the case for those rich Tory wankers who enjoy nothing more than shitting on the working masses of this country.

Of course we are kind of buggered but I could be a tad more frugal. My usual pattern seems to be check my pay has gone into my bank account and make my way directly to Amazon to buy things that I know that I don’t need but still convince myself that I want. Is there any other way to explain why I  bought Dracula 2001 on DVD. Considering that Dracula 2001 is to Wes Craven what The League of Extraordinary is to Stephen Norrington, a skid mark on the solid gold underpants of an impeccable career.

Hold the bus, I digress the reason for me starting this blog is to record my media themed mussing. I will review TV, Film and random thoughts and questions that occur to me, for example if you where to cast a remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show who would be your Frankenfurter. For me it would be the underrated bearded Scotch beauty that is Gerard Butler.

So this is my nerd-i-festo so take from it what you will. In the mean time consider this blog under construction. Until next time my chums.

TTFN.x